My Life In Bitter Observation...

Just So You Know

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 00:54:59 GMT

I failed the P&S application (the publishing company I applied for). I don't think I did anything particularly wrong, just too late in applying. Or maybe I do in fact suck. Anyway, I should probably keep looking for stuff. And I probably won't. It's a vicious cycle. I'm aware this paragraph is punctuately (as far as I know there's no real word for what I mean here) horrible.

I'm developing a taste for Red Bull and I'm kinda ashamed by it.

Nothing to say here, I just felt like I needed at least three things to justify having bullet points.

How things are going these days...

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 14:14:40 GMT

Really I should have sorted this out a few weeks ago or earlier, and so most of this entry won't make much sense to anyone who reads it (assuming people do read my blog anyway). In the interest of keeping it slightly organised I'm going to put it into categories:

Work
Possibly the most significant development I had in work was my application for a position in Child Maintenance Options (or CMEC). I originally applied for this for a couple of reasons, at the time it seemed like a more "involving" role than the one I currently have, as well as the fact I wanted to get away from a certain person at work whose friendship I'd become overly reliant on which led to a huge mess when she decided she didn't need me anymore. The latter part of that eventually fixed itself, although it led to a situation where she'd applied for the same job and that put me in a situation where I had to successfully get the job just to stay with this person.

Anyway, I didn't get the job for three reasons, two of which were pretty embarrassing because I'd stumbled on points I should have had no problem with. The third one is more attributable to the kind of person I am and really just proves I wasn't right for the part. I'm generally okay with all this, although I didn't feel particularly great about failing my application I'd learnt more about the job since I'd originally applied and it was enough to know it was significantly different from what I thought I was looking for, when really it isn't all that much different from what I've been doing for four years now. And in some respects it'd be worse, I'd be dealing constantly with the kind of person I have little respect for, and most likely be sitting there taking constant abuse from them without being able to defend myself. Of course, my aforementioned friend did successfully get the position, and although I'm happy for her I'm pretty confident that'll be it for us in a few months time. Which I guess I can't really complain about since that was my intention for applying in the first place, even if it wasn't what I wanted anymore.

And so everything is "right where it belongs" again. I've gotten word of a job closer to home that I would probably be suited for and so I'm going to apply for that, although maybe a little half-heartedly, as I'll probably just mail in my resume and rework the personal statement I wrote for my CMEC application (since it was only really the interview I fucked up with) and see how that turns out.

My semblance of a social life
This isn't really doing so good these days, which I suppose there are a number of reasons for. I've pretty much drifted apart from a few the people I have typically hung out with over the last five years or so and I can only speculate as to why. One idea is that when I gave up drinking last year I became less appealing to invite to nights out and such, the other ideas I have are based on my own history of how bad I am at keeping in touch with people and then the fact that if you knew me personally you be aware that I don't have the most warm and inviting attitude towards other people. I'm still getting along fantastically with a few people though, including the guy who really matters, and I have plans for my birthday already that actually will be carried out so I can't complain all that much.

Entertaining myself
Since it's summer and I need reasons to stay indoors I'll be ordering a PS3 today, which should get to my house on tuesday. I'm not hugely excited by it (and haven't been since they launched really) but it's probably a more sound investment than buying a Wii at the moment and there are at least one or two exclusive titles I want to play now, which should gently edge me through how dull august is likely to be on that front. And then how insane it'll get leading up to the holidays when I really should be saving my money.

I haven't seen many bands recently (there's one, I'll get to it...) and I didn't go to festivals this year. I'm okay with the lack of festivals, I'd been doing them since I was 17 and it was getting to be more of a chore each time. At some point I just wasn't enjoying it anymore, and so I came up with the notion that I could happily ditch the festivals and just make an effort to see more actual gigs, sadly that hasn't really happened. The one I did see recently was Iron Maiden, which I was going to write an entirely separate entry for but never got around to doing and it'll be easy enough to summarise the whole thing, so here goes: I have this idea that any band I need to pay more than £30 to see a concert by isn't really worth my money. The most expensive gig I'd been to at this point was Judas Priest, which cost me £28, and was frankly quite awesome. So I feel kind of disappointed in myself that I spent £55 fora band I didn't really like (and still don't). Plus the fact that I had to travel to London and stay over in Feltham and there's the initial expense of well over £100 for this thing. On the other hand I did enjoy being in London and found the travelling there and back to be surprisingly pleasant so I try and write off the £55 gig for the most moronic metal band on the planet as a formality so it doesn't seem so bad. And I guess it isn't so bad really, I just feel like I abandoned my principles somewhat.

So to conclude, my life is almost exactly as it was at this time last year and there's nothing new to see here. Ciao.

The good and bad in Top 5 format

Tue, 20 May 2008 20:39:23 GMT

Good
1. I have plenty to keep me occupied
2. I'm not as alone as I think sometimes
3. Iron Man was a relief
4. Position at work is a little more bearable and now comes with bragging rights
5. I'm finding and liking new music (i.e. old music I hadn't heard) fairly easily at the moment

Bad
1. Probably didn't get the job I applied for (though arguably this could go in the other section)
2. Won't see the new Indiana Jones flick during it's opening weekend
3. My unrequited interest is getting more obstructive
4. The Slip (freely distributed NIN album) is a disappointment
5. My ludicrously expensive earphones were £20 cheaper on Amazon

What's new...

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 01:34:20 GMT

This'll be a quick one...

I filled out an internal vacancy application for child maintenance support (a new department starting up) for various reasons, mainly because at the time I felt I had zero to stay on national rail for (more on this in a second). The thing is, I don't really know much about what they're doing there. The notice for the position was incredibly vague (told you who to send the application to and that was it) and the only feedback I had from them regarding my application was a quick phone call demanding a written statement. I got the impression that the work they are doing will be account based but from what I was told this morning it may just be an advisory thing, which wouldn't be much better than what I'm doing now. But maybe I wouldn't feel so confined on there.

So why did I apply? Well if you've been reading this a while you'll know how much I hate my job but something changed. I've been staying for the wrong reasons, and I don't really have those excuses anymore. Ironically I've pretty much applied for the wrong reasons (at the time) as well, because I was trying to get out not to further my career but to avoid someone, because I was scared that I couldn't handle four days a week of remorse over the friend I'd lost (see last post). And although things are starting to improve in some ways I'm going to see the application through, presuming it's going anywhere. Why, if things are getting better? Because I know one day the things keeping me there will die and I won't be able to save them, and frankly knowing that makes me realise I may as well just kill them myself.

The beginning of the end?

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:32:56 GMT

I've been thinking a lot lately about things regarding trust, loyalty, stuff you'd generally see as important to any relationship. Particularly issues between me and someone who until fairly recently I thought was a close friend, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Of course my hilarious lack of interpersonal skills may just mean I'm reading the situation wrong, but I look at it like this:

1. Someone pro-actively sends you sms messages every day and calls you at weekends. Suddenly they stop doing this. Does this mean there is something wrong?

2. Something bad happens, and you ask a friend for support. They ignore you. Does this mean there is something wrong?

3. One of your friends that you work with changes their working hours and thus they'll be seeing less of everybody. S/he tells everyone except you. Does this mean there is something wrong?

That's the short version. I know I may just be overreacting, but I think it's undeniable that things are going downhill between us. It's whether it bothers her as much as it bothers me, and considering her tendency to deflect any attempt at a serious conversation I'm guessing it doesn't. And what may bite me in the ass is how the security of having this person as a friend may have caused me to neglect people who really *are* my friends. It's something of a "downer", definitely.

Sauze D'Oulx

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:19:55 GMT

Having another Xbox die on me has left me with more spare time over the next couple of days so I'll catch up on this.

As you may know I spent the last week snowboarding in Italy, specifically Sauze D'Oulx and bits of Sestriere. The flights there and back were a it of a nightmare, on the way there we arrived at Manchester Airport only to be sent to the wrong terminal building, and because we were given the wrong info by the travel agent it seemed for a moment we weren't going at all. Eventually we did figure it out (agent gave us the wrong airline) but we had to skip breakfast to get on the plane, which was then about an hour late in taking off (weather conditions in Turin, can't complain really) and also had to circle around for an extra 40 minutes over the destination in order to get landing clearance.

After getting to Turin the handle snapped off my case when I lifted it from the baggage carousel (the painful way of finding out I'd packed too much stuff) and we initially loaded our stuff onto one coach only to be told we had to get on a different one. So then we got on the 2nd coach for a 90 minute ride to the town on which I was unable to sleep because the guide kept speaking over the PA every ten minutes. Given that we'd lost a lot of time we only really got into Sauze D'Oulx with enough time to look around before dinner. I would have preferred to get the afternoon on the slopes like last year, but we found the lifts close around 1630 so there wasn't much we could do on that end. However we found a place that did great takeaway pizza and crepes so it's not all bad. We hung out at a theme bar (the actual theme being rather ambiguous) for most of the evening while waiting for dinner where we signed up for the night-time activities, which is where the place had an edge over my last holiday. I signed up for two activities (more on these later) and ingested a huge amount of cappuccino.

The next morning I skipped breakfast (which turned out to be a bad idea because you're supposed to order your dinner whilst you're down there) and got to grips with the rather awkward shower, which had to be held up by hand. It's a weird experience because you're thinking about what you're trying to wash rather than what's behind you and the end result is getting water everywhere. In the mornings we had to walk to the chairlift then take it from there. The slopes we're generally quite icy and I don't think any snow actually fell while we were there, we might have benefited from going earlier in the year maybe. We did the majority of the snowboarding/skiing (Morzine was about five skiing and six snowboarding, this one was ten people skiing and four people snowboarding) in Sauze with about two days in Sestriere. There's a little more variation in the runs in Sestiere as opposed to Sauze, but I don't think either of them compared as well to Avioriaz. On the other hand Sauze definitely had more to do after the skiing was over. And we only had to catch one bus the whole time.

In terms of what we'd do at night we'd generally hang out at two of the bars until 2230 or so. Some of you may know that I gave up drinking last year anyway but there isn't much sense in being hungover in the morning when you could seriously hurt yourself. The two activities I signed up for (already forgotten most of my other options apart from the bobsleigh thing) were the torchlight descent and driving a skidoo. The stuff building up to the torchlight descent was fun, we slid down the hill on sledges then watched people attempt to play football in their ski boots. And after a meal we went down the exiting slope in darkness. Initially that was terrifying, but you get used to it eventually. It may have been easier if we could go at our own pace, but instead we had to go in a line and it's not always easy to swing your board around at low speeds. Not in a rush to do it again, but I'm glad I did it anyway. We did the skidoo ride the night after. I drove on the way up and John drove the way down. It was a lot of fun, hard at first because I was a little timid in terms of really throttling it but I got the hang of it after a while. Which made it more embarrassing when I nearly tipped it over on a really easy part right at the end. We went inside, had some hot chocolate and watched Italian tv for ten minutes then we got going again with John driving us down. I think we got about twenty minutes each way, so that was a lot of fun too.

The last couple of days hadn't turned out as well as the rest of it, I went back early on friday because I had a headache all morning and afternoon and I didn't want to ride with that kind of distraction for much longer. On the saturday we were on for even less because it was so windy the chairlifts started closing down, so we spent the rest of the day looking around the town again. Part of this involved a ludicrously long wait for food in one of the restaurants (about two hours) which in the end I didn't even eat, and then going around looking for presents. I bought some pasta that won't be better than any I can get at the supermarket, but it's from Italy so it's awesome.

The journey back was generally better than the way there but not without it's problems. After leaving the hotel before 0600 we got on the coach to the airport (without hassle this time). Actually I wish I'd took photos on the way out because the mountains looked so enchanting in the moonlight like that, but I digress. When we got to Turin airport we found there was a three hour wait between check-in and the flight and not a lot to do at the airport itself but it wasn't as bad as the initial journey thankfully.

Overall I'm quite happy with it. Accommodation wasn't so great (although after last year I'm probably jaded) but the food was arguably better apart from the veal obsession and the alternative flavours of powerade (inexplicably popular) are better. I loved the blood orange stuff. Need some new equipment though. But all in all a success I think.

Photos/

what I learnt today...

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 01:46:43 GMT

I'll keep this intentionally vague (and thus short), but I can't believe how inconsiderate some people are. Why someone would hide something from you for three months, then suddenly rub your face in it under the guise needing advice because "I thought I could talk to you because you're one of my best friends" without putting any thought into why I might have a problem discussing it. When my own feelings were already perfectly clear? What sort of advice can you expect?

Strange when you think you know someone pretty well, but you're continuously finding out that you don't. Not a lot of fun either.

When the Wind Blows

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 03:11:32 GMT

You ever get the feeling when you read certain books that you've missed the point of them? I've just spent the last hour reading this book, and when I read the review quotes in the front, I wonder if "the most eloquent anti-bomb statement you are likely to read" (Daily Mail) is the implication that the only people who survive a nuclear attack on this country will be really really annoying.

Hmm.

Children...

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 19:26:16 GMT

I don't want them. I generally don't like them. Unfortunately as I get older the prospect of me falling for someone who already has one becomes more likely. That's just something that increases with age, it's a possibility I have little choice but to get used to.

I've had this on my mind for the past week or so, because I'm already some way along on this. There's someone I like, but she said she could never be with anyone who hates children. I told her my opinions on that subject may change in time and there's no sense in using something that shouldn't be an issue for years anyway as an obstacle, but it's a lot more relevant than I thought since (ta da) she actually already has a kid. So now I'm in a situation where I want to be with this person, I'm willing to try and overcome a problem that in fairness I shouldn't have issues with anyway, but the truth is it's not who I am. So the whole thing is pretty confusing.

I'm sure it's pretty academic anyway, whatever interest she had in me has probably run its course by now. But it's leaving me with a lot to think about.

No hugging, no learning...

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 03:55:14 GMT

Yesterday (Saturday) I had an altercation at work. I was provoked, yes (perhaps unwittingly), but maybe I let my anger get the better of me. It's an unusual situation for me to be in because most of my conflicts at work tend to be with superiors rather than my peers (I keep to myself at work so I don't find myself getting into arguments with other CSAs very often, it's usually response to a direct provocation from higher up that sets me off), but this is someone who is going through the same frustrations I am, except she seems ignorant to the fact that as bad as she thinks she has it, it's still better than what's happening to me. I'm getting progressively worse in terms of my ability to tolerate it every time she brings it up, but unfortunately because this is someone I'm close to (as far as working relationships go) I really wanted to avoid snapping at her. I failed I guess.

It's a little hard to describe, but I'll try. Basically, we were both going to be appeased a little by floorwalking during the last hour, a duty I understood we were going to be sharing. However she took advantage of the situation and didn't relinquish the privilege to me when it was due, but since we were into the last half hour I let it slide. Regardless, I was still pretty annoyed about it but I didn't take it up with anyone. Some time into the last ten minutes however she walked behind me and playfully (ignorant to what I was thinking about at the time) pulled at my hair elastic, which I turn grabbed to stop her, pulling out a sizeable chunk of my own hair in the process (I think it was me because it ended up in my hands when it was over) and simultaneously yelled at her, which drew everyone's attention to what had just happened. Then I proceeded to finish my shift and leave the building without talking to anyone.

Midday today I get this text message (edited because I hate texting language):

"Craig, I don't fully understand what happened yesterday and why you shouted at me. If I hurt or upset you then I'm very sorry, you're one of my best friends at work and I'd never hurt you on purpose"

Okay, I expected this, and I really do think it's more to do with her being genuinely sorry rather than concerned because it may have looked like a vicious action on her part to anyone who saw it. But if she'd sent this (or any apology) during Saturday evening I wouldn't even have given her a response. I figure I have to say something (but not everything, hence the title of this post) so I respond with:

"I'd rather just forget it happened really"

I never got anything back from that, so I don't know how it stands now. I'll see her in a few hours though, so I'll know then. It's not a great situation when to really fix something you have to risk destroying it entirely. Bandaid covers the bullet hole I guess.

Friday's Milestones

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 00:59:04 GMT

Should've actually wrote this on Friday but what can you do huh?

Last Friday I finally achieved two things that everyone must do at some point in their lives. I'm quite proud, because they're not things you're expected to do in the same day. They are:

1. Falling asleep in a theatre (Mr Woodcock)

and

2. Walking out of a movie (Last Legion)

So there you go, great day for me. Not the best day I could have picked to do it, after spending £115 on videogames the same day arguably wasting the best part of £15 on cinema tickets where I only saw about ten minutes of each movie could be seen by some as profligacy at work. But hey, you've got to seize the opportunities when they present themselves. Follow your dreams.

a few things that happened in a dream I had last night...

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 03:22:54 GMT

Waking up (in a dream, yes) in the Whitehouse to find that I was President Bush

Performing cunnilingus on a iPhone (don't ask me how this even works, but I was doing a good job)

Frantically masturbating while the room was spinning

So yeah, bit weird that one. Best not to think about it too much.

Pity my cat...

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 00:45:57 GMT

Took these while she was asleep (cellphone, hence bad quality). Looks like she's had a busy day anyway.

Why my night sucked

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 00:35:04 GMT

Staff outing. I tell them (or one person in particular) I don't want to go. I state this multiple times. Apparently this isn't good enough. When I am phoned personally at 2040 this evening (interrupting the nap I was taking, but I digress) I am asked what time I will be out, to which I reiterate that I DON'T WANT TO GO. Eventually after enough persuasion I'm mildly convinced otherwise and I compromise that I'll go out for a while, despite the fact that the majority of people whose attendance I'm informed of are people I couldn't really care less about fraternising with. I get into town at 2200 and send an SMS message as instructed to ask where I'm supposed to be. No response. About ten minutes later I make a phone call to the same number. No answer. I call about 4 or 5 times to no avail. It's now 2235. I eventually get a text message saying "We're in Funnygirls".

Therein lies a problem. I don't know where this place is because, believe it or not I don't amass information on every single bar that opens in my hometown because the majority of them are fucking shit. Why should I commit to memory the locations of places that I have no intention of ever going to? Especially when the ownership on these places change every six months anyway, making the names of them utterly trivial? So, after sending a message telling her (yes, it's about a girl) that I don't know where it is, I get a response twenty minutes later telling me it's near Soviet. I know where that is, as I've been in there unfortunately. As I walk towards Soviet I'm met with the usual reminders of why I don't frequent the bars in that area: shit music pouring out of every doorway, random idiots hurling obscenities at me as if I'm actually supposed to care what they think, people getting arrested most likely because they fucking deserved it... but I eventually get to the place. There's a queue to get in. Now, do I really want to stand in this queue so I can be a sitting duck for whatever assholes are stumbling down Wellington Street (and believe me there'll be more than enough of them) after what I've already had to put up with..?

No, I fucking don't.

I send a message saying that there's no way I'm queuing outside that on my own... using my intuition on how the rest of this is going to go down I start walking back to the bus station (jeered by more idiots including one person who kept calling me Meat Loaf for some reason). As I'm about to board the last bus out of there I receive a message saying "well it's up to you but we're all inside now". My mind is already made up, I am outta there...

So to summarise, I go out despite stating over and over that I didn't want to, I have no failsafe for the event that I might have to stand around in one spot for an entire hour on my own doing fuck all (and to clarify again, it was a full hour), and then I'm expected to stand on my own queuing in the middle of a street where diversity and culture has *gone to die*, while its inhabitants exhibit evidence that evolution is really going in the other direction in South Yorkshire. And then I essentially get told that she doesn't really care if I turn up anyway. Now, was this a waste of my time? Yes! I can sit around doing little other than playing with my cellphone and listening to Jurassic 5 at home thanks. At least at home I have Fairtrade coffee.

GAME are bastards #5616

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:42:47 GMT

Since we're awaiting the Halo3 release for another ten hours here I might as well recount my pre-ordering woes.

I figured I'd be pre-ordering Halo this time around with the intention of actually buying it (unlike last time when I pre-ordered and never bothered collecting on it). Ordinarily I'd use Amazon for this, but then I remembered the last installment actually warranted a midnight opening at a local store so I figured I'd pre-order there for the sake of going to a midnight opening (because, y'know, I'm a loser). So I phone GAME and ask them about it...

"Well I haven't heard anything about it, so being the actual manager and all I seriously doubt it's gonna happen"

Well, that's lame. So I check with Gamestation and huzzah, they're doing one. Simple choice then, I pre-order with them. And all would be well and good in the world (figuratively speaking). They phoned me last night to confirm, put me down for the "limited" edition etc, I would've picked it up tonight, got a taxi back and played it until the sun came up. Assuming it's a good game anyway.

So why am I complaining? Not a long story. I go into town to pick up a third wireless router (*that's* a long story) and I thought I'd go into GAME as it's on the way. On the way in I'm greeted by a pretty sign informing me of tonight's midnight opening. Thanks for that. Anyway, I take a further look around the store and come across some nice tie-in merchandise. I ask if they've got the t-shirts in my size, oh they're all over there. He'll put me down for one apparently. Wait, he's actually suggesting I *pre-order* a t-shirt? Oh yes, he is...

"We can't sell anything to do with Halo 3 until tonight"
"Oh"
"But we're opening tonight so if you want you can get both the game and the t-shirt tonight, no?"
"Well I phoned about this beforehand and the manger told me you weren't opening for it so I pre-ordered somewhere else"
"Oh, where?"
"Gamestation"
"Right. You pay a deposit for that?"
"[lying] Yeah [/lying]"
"Ah well, fuck them, get your desposit back and pre-order with us!"
"[lying] Well, I've got a friend who works there and he'll get all pissed at me and stuff [/lying]"

I'm paraphrasing of course. GAME employees generally don't say "fuck" in front of their customers. I wish they would, it'd be hilarious. Still, I did find it fairly amusing that GAME are trying to snipe customers away from a retail chain that was bought out by them back in May, but I guess that's how it works. I guess I'm making too big a deal about it by bothering to even type this stuff, but meh. So I'll pick up my order from Gamestation as planned and get the shirt from there if they're in, otherwise I'll head back to game and just buy the shirt, which'll be pretty funny in itself. Surely they can't discriminate.

I know Team America is supposed to be satire and all...

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:42:44 GMT

...but no way can you nail the Arc de Triomphe with the Eiffel Tower like that. It'd need to be 5 times taller than it actually is.

Sad, I know.

Since when did Wil Wheaton become so likeable!?

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 18:03:24 GMT

http://suicidegirls.com/news/geek/22194/

I’ve heard parents complain that video games are bad for kids, or harmful to their emotional development, but I’ve never seen a video game reduce a kid to tears as effectively as one of those screaming, hyper competitive little league dads. I’ve never known a kid to feel like crap about himself because he can’t win a Pokémon battle, but I’ve known plenty whose parents make them think they’re worthless because they don’t want to play football.

Damn. Did I mention how last night I caught a mosquito in my hand whilst it flew past my monitor in the dark? It was pretty fucking cool.

I finally went ahead and did it...

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 02:01:34 GMT

I've bought something pornographic for the first time. Naked girls, transfer of money and everything. While I'm sure some people are going to look upon this as a milestone in my life and a rite of passage maybe, right now I'm actually feeling a little ashamed of myself. It's weird really.

Words to live by...

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 01:23:52 GMT

And now I'm ill...

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 22:04:55 GMT

Not just in the Run DMC sense.

Had the tooth out on Wednesday, went better than expected. So I thought anyway. Maybe the jaunt around Meadowhall and its one or two shops that are actually open at present did actually qualify for the "strenuous exercise" that my dentist advised me against, and sure, my legs did feel tired quite quickly, but right now I'm pointing the finger at my decision to eat at McDonald's that evening. Badly cooked McChicken McPremiere or whatever they're called? Maybe. After all, they couldn't make the things fast enough.

I first figured something was wrong about an hour or so afterwards. Stuff I can maybe attribute to the anaesthesia, and maybe something else. I went to bed early, hoping I'd sleep it off. In fact I thought I had. Bus journey to work wasn't too pleasant, but nothing really weird. First hour of work wasn't too bad, then the headache came on. I was shivering even though I felt I was burning up. Went for my break, headed straight to my "special" bathroom... didn't feel much better afterwards either. Went back in and moped around for ten minutes before telling the duty manager "I feeel terrible..." (went for the Han Solo delivery as much as I could) and they said I could go home if I wanted. Well, not gonna pass that up.

So after last night being particularly horrible, and my symptoms identifying more with foodborne illness rather than the anaesthetic, I didn't go in today either. For the most part I felt a lot better, but the last five hours have been awful. And if I'm like this tomorrow morning I won't go in either. Will look great at work because I've took what looks like a string of unrelated absences over what's been an unusually busy week for NRES (flooding and all). After such a clean attendance record no less. Suspicious.

Well at least I get a couple of days of work. But it's really not as good as it sounds. Remember when you're a kid and you'd get off school for something relatively minor and spend the day around the house playing videogames and exploring the mysterious uncharted territory of daytime tv? Well it's not as easy to recapture that kind of bliss when you have trouble sitting for 20 minutes.

So in closing: kids, stay away from McDonald's. I mean, the Rolo Milkshake is nice and everything but if this is the kind of pain an adult male gets I dread to think what'll happen to you. Okay, I don't really, I've got my own problems.

Past, Present & Future... dental health perspective

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:26:46 GMT

Past
Since I got back from the Download Festival last month I had a pretty consistent toothache. I didn't bother being pro-active in getting it looked at since my regularly scheduled appointment was coming up in two weeks anyway. I found about a week or so into it I had wisdom teeth erupting so I figured I'd go down there as planned, tell them it hurts and they'd get rid of it for me. So when I did go down there I get told that it seems to be coming through fine and I shouldn't worry about it. A month and several boxes of Ibuprofen later and I'm not entirely convinced, particularly after this weekend, when I was unable to sleep on saturday night and ended up staying up until 9am waiting for the pain to subside. So yeah, didn't think it was going too well there.

Present
A couple of hours ago I went in for an appointment that I booked yesterday (or rather had someone book for me, but that's not important). I told them it wasn't going so well, so they said "yeah, okay we'll get that taken out". Initially they were going to book an appointment with the local hospital but they after they took an x-ray they figured they could handle it right there. Only I hadn't had anything to eat all day (wasn't expecting surgery) so they postponed it and rescheduled for tomorrow.

I phoned work about half an hour later whilst I was waiting for my sandwich to George Foreman itself telling them that I don't think I'll be in tomorrow, since I've been told I'll need the rest of the day off work (we're taking it out at 1225) and there's little point in coming in if I'm gonna be out by 1100 and that doesn't even give me enough time to go home, get changed and have lunch anyway. They told me because it's an afternoon appointment (despite being scheduled within the first half of my shift) if I take the day it's gonna be marked down as an absence. Which is perfectly okay with me, since my 18 month perfect attendance streak is a product of coincidence rather than design.

Future
So tomorrow I'll have to get up around 8ish, purely for the purpose of phoning in my absence. Since my team leader essentially seems to think I'm making it up, I'll be taking the documentation in on thursday to wave in his face. That's how I roll. I suspect I'll skip breakfast, have lunch at 1100 and walk down there around an hour later. And then it's local anaesthetic time. Apparently if I'd had opted for the hospital appointment I would have got a general anaesthetic which would have made it all the more pleasant. Ah well, how bad can it be? Don't answer that, please.

You've gotta be kidding me...

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 01:01:56 GMT

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,2117002,00.html

McCann family move out of holiday complex
The family of Madeleine McCann, the three-year-old who went missing in Portugal 60days ago, finally moved out of the apartment complex where she disappeared yesterday. Parents Kate and Gerry McCann and their two-year-old twins Sean and Amelie moved into private accommodation in the Algarve resort town of Praia da Luz as they prepared to stay in the area through the summer. "Staying in the Algarve also makes it easier to stay in touch with the Portuguese police; this is particularly important with the investigation being so active," Mr McCann wrote on his blog.

Hasn't this really gone far enough? I mean, they've been staying in Portugal for fuck knows how long, flying around all over Europe, meeting the fucking Pope, and now they're buying up property in the area so they can stay another two months? Without working no doubt. And it's all paid for by an army of retarded "supporters" who've already poured a shitload of money into this thing (over £800,000) that's apparently entirely at the McCanns' disposal? It's like losing their daughter is the best thing that ever happened to them... they're getting a six month vacation and the best part of a million as a reward for their own cack-handed parenting, whilst the people doing the *real* work on getting their daughter back are the subject of constant criticism by the press (and by "the press" I mean the shit newspapers, I quite like the Guardian), whose selective targeting here borders on discrimination.

But who am I kidding? The McCanns *need* that money. I can't imagine them coughing up the cash themselves for a nice little memorial fountain should the body turn up.

Well now I know why my bus didn't turn up this afternoon...

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 01:28:44 GMT

Although really I should have guessed when the one I was on this morning started filling up with water. More details here if you're into that kind of thing: http://www.bbc.co.uk/southyorkshire/content/image_galleries/flooding_june_2007_gallery.shtml

"Fuck Emo"

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:13:24 GMT

No, hold on a second. Fuck you actually. Yes, you.

After spending a weekend hearing people scream variations of "fuck emo", "kill an emo", and generally whining about the fact that My Chemical Romance are headlining to the point that they're sad enough to get a t-shirt printed for it, I'm too sickened to participate in any of it. I always thought it was pretty lame to begin with, but now it officially pisses me off. Why? The hypocrisy basically. I'm seeing people who think they're very clever, yet they utterly fail to perceive the irony of what they're doing. These are the kind of people who spent the last two and a half years complaining because some narrow-minded idiot wearing a Timberland sweater and a burberry hat called them names and made fun of their trousers, and now they're doing the exact same thing to some poor kid who never asked for it and did fuck all to them personally. They're so unapologetically ignorant that it's a fucking joke to me, albeit a rather offensive one. Really, they don't even know what "emo" means, don't know the music, the attitude, they couldn't even explain what "emo" is without contradicting themselves. One second it's supposedly about wanting to slit your wrists, the next it's about Tobey Maguire dancing while he walks down the street... ask these people if they've ever heard of Rites Of Spring and the whooshing sound over their head will sound like a jet taking off. A lot of people are using it synonymously with things they don't like, like 12 year olds labelling stuff as "gay". That's pretty retarded too if you didn't know. And it's embarrassing because these are people that I share common interests with, people I'm supposed to identify with. In practice they come off more like the perpetually drunk family member that you "forget" to invite to gatherings.

So in closing, if you were there last friday and you weren't happy about MCR headlining, maybe you should have done something else, like watched Korn on the other stage, or gone back to your tent, or maybe even gone home, rather than standing on a hill throwing bottles at anyone who did choose to see them. If you don't agree with me you've wasted your time reading this, maybe this is more your kind of thing instead: www.tinyurl.com/ov73z. Whereas if you're an "Emo" (notice the quote marks) who's reading this, the next time someone gives you shit, whether they're wearing a Henri Lloyd jacket or a Metallica t-shirt, tell the son of a bitch that it ain't gonna suck itself. Thank you.

my style's like a chemical spill

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 03:23:18 GMT

So today (or yesterdays in some circles, I'm up late as usual) I call my bank because there's something wrong with my debit card, particularly that it keeps getting refused when I make online transactions. Which makes it largely useless to me. Anyway, after a good long wait on hold for my bank while they check out "a note" on my account (note to any company that desire my custom: if I find you're using dance/trance music for your customer services lines I will boycott you) I get a nice guy who wants to check some details with me.

"Have you topped up your phone at Tesco recently?"

Apparently someone has my Switch-Maestro details and has been using them to top up their Pay As You Go phone. In Slough no less. So after explaining that I don't have a Tesco Mobile account and I've never been to Slough it's concluded that there "might be" some fraudulent activity on my account. Not a good time of year for it either, as this weekend I was expecting to be wasting money in abundance. Naturally the debit card is being cancelled and they're sending me a new one, which won't get to me before the weekend (I'll be out of town a few days) and I'll probably be the victim of Royal Mail's "Special" Delivery once again. I'll get the money back hopefully. What worries me is I wouldn't have noticed the money going out of my account (I shop at Tesco all the time see). But these things happen I guess.